In Defense of Women II- Sexual Assault is an Epidemic

I have seen the results of sexual harassment and sexual abuse. Now many can say that, however, when I say I have seen it, I have felt the pain, wiped the tears and seen the ultimate price that is paid by it’s victims. The price is heavy. It shows in many way, but, for the victim, it weighs one down like an unseen burden on the shoulders of the victims and every day, another rock is added until finally the burden buckles the knees and breaks the soul.

The way it breaks one down is dependent on the victim. Some may hide behind a facade of normality, acting as though nothing has happened. We on the outside would never know the victim was ever assaulted, but, in their head, in their memories it lives like a horror movie that plays over and over again. For the victim it never really ends.

With counseling and therapy it may be less of a burden, but, ultimately it lingers as a scar that no surgeon can remove.

I say I have seen it because I have helped women who have suffered assaults. Oddly, although I am a man, I have been gifted with the ability to put women at ease and willing to speak.

The things I have heard, the things men have done to women have caused me to fight the desire to become physically ill.

Such is the world we live in and accept….. or is it?

Do we need to allow these atrocities to occur? That is an answer that can be answered by asking a second question. Can we allow these atrocities to occur?

The answer to both questions is simple depending on your point of view. If your answer is yes then read no further because this post is not for you. If you, on the other hand believe that the answer is no and that we can change this mentality of women being objects of sexual gratification, willingly or not, then please read on.

Much is said and written about sexual assault, it is in psychology books, it is discussed in the texts that counselors and therapists study, but, what I have found noticeably absent is the discussion of the full extent of the damage to the victim, to their psyche and to their self esteem.

In one case a young woman went to the hospital to receive medical records. The purpose was to prosecute her offender, but, the shock was too much to bear and caused a state of temporary amnesia that required two weeks of help to regain. This is the type of emotional and mental trauma assault victims face.

These are the things that are not openly discussed and in fact not readily considered unless specifically trained counselors are prepared for it. Even then, the psychological damage to the victim will still remain, dormant but easily triggered under the right circumstances.

Now, there is nothing we can do to help assault victims more than we already try to do. We talk to them, console them and attempt to help them move on. This is not a solution, not a fix, but, it is all we can do, because, assault does not go away. It does not fade with time and it most definitely is not forgotten.

So what else can we do? Is there a way or a magic wand that can be waved to stop the pain and suffering? Sadly no there is not, but, there is one thing and only one thing we can do. We can make it stop.

We, every one of us has that power if we choose to use it.

First we must educate our children in respect for one another. This means respect for all living things, men women and children of all races and religions. We must respect them not for what or who they are but respect them as living breathing creatures that have the same feelings and desires we all have, to live without pain and hunger and suffering.

We must educate that women and men are equal and neither is more or less deserving of respect and, finally, we must educate all the worlds religions that no God that is worshiped wishes pain and torment on his children. This lesson above all else must be taught.

As a civilization we have learned to accept the philosophy that it is not my problem or it does not concern me,  so I will turn away. That is faulty logic and flawed reasoning because simply put, we are all the same. We all have the same physiological and psychological needs. Hunger and the desire to be loved and respected is not a gender or race or religious need, it is a human need. In fact it is in many ways a need of all creatures in one respect or another. These are what make us all the same.

So when a woman is assaulted, it is, or should be an assault on us all and we should all feel the same. We don’t. We ignore the scream at night or the clear sign of male dominance over an unwilling woman and we do nothing.

Sexual assault is an epidemic and it injures the very soul of the victim in ways broken bones and bruises do, yet. the soul cannot be mended nor can it forget. The time has come for all of us to stand up against this and I call upon the men to be the leads on this fight.

Now after reading this one might ask, why would I want men to be the lead after writing a post about women and empowerment? That answer is simple.

Men are the ones who predominantly do these horrid things and it is up to us men to stop it. No longer can we tolerate degrading jokes, music that glorifies subjugation and makes women appear items of sexual gratification that can be tossed aside when men are through with them. Men are accountable for the actions I write of, and, there is no punishment that will remove the scar of assault.

If our society is to advance then it can only advance with the knowledge that we are all equal and equally deserving of respect until such time the respect has been negated by behavior. We must all be the change we want to see, not just in respect of treatment of women but in respect to treatment of all.

In Defense of Women

In the world we live in, women are a target.

Not just here in the United States but across the globe. In Egypt it is estimated that 99% of all women have been sexually harassed according to a United Nations study. That is one country. It is not limited to Egypt, but, simply where a study was conducted. 99%. Does this trouble you? There are some it may not trouble and for those, read no further because I am far from done.

Here in the United States we are currently watching women’s rights be systematically removed, state by state, legislature by legislature.

Basic human rights, generally accepted as sovereign for men are literally being stripped of women. The right to basic, reliable,safe and unbiased reproductive and gynecological health care.

Now this issue has it’s opponents clearly, but, if one is willing to be of open mind there is an abundantly clear pattern that forms. Religion is dictating this course of action.

Great pains are taken not to mention this but in the cases where our elected representatives do openly speak of their opposition to the aforementioned medical care for women, they clearly state it is against God’s will.

This concept is important to those of faith and is an opinion I can respect, however, the operative and critical word is opinion. Opinion is not what we write laws and legislate over. Opinion is a thought process one has but does not use to enforce their will on another. That would be wrong. In point of fact it would be an assault, which under ordinary terms would be punishable by a curt of law.

So why do we see these elected officials and government agencies attacking, relentlessly the rights of women? For the same reason that women are assaulted in general. Men have been brought up, raised to be of power. This has been the case since the first scratchings on caves thousands of years ago. Judging by the endless abuses women have taken and take now, either we have not really evolved or we have lost our ability to comprehend right from wrong.

So where do we begin to make change for the good of not just the “holy and righteous” but for all people, men and women? We begin simply and easily. We teach.

We teach our children that we are all human and we all deserve the right to choose who we see for doctors, whether we have a check up or not. We teach that we have free will and it is our free will that separates us from other creatures and most importantly we instill in our children respect for one another. Each and every human being has value and deserves to be treated with respect and allowed to believe in what they choose and to act in a civilized,non harming way to others.

Now to be clear, I do not believe life begins until a child has a recognizable chance with modern medicine to survive outside of the womb. To me this means a functioning autonomic system. A brain. Before this the fetus is a series of interconnected cells that has no life or identity. Members of the recognized medical community have better ways of conveying this,but, as I am not a doctor, my arcane example will have to do.

Having said that, what right does anyone have to force a woman to carry a child to delivery if before the point the fetus is at the point of having human characteristics?

I cannot accept that people who have been elected to public office or been appointed as justices gain the supposed divine knowledge to know what God would or would not approve of. In point of fact, again, God granted us free will, yet we currently have government officials convinced they are more knowledgeable of divine law than others. How does one rise to such enormous wisdom by merely being elected to office?

The answer is quite simple. They do not.

This is the crux of the trouble around the world on the matter of the subjugation of women. It has been taught over the millenia that women are the weaker gender. To be controlled and led. Forced into lives and situations no one would willingly bear, if not threatened by repressive fear of repercussions, or loss of life. This is where precisely we all need to change our thought process because this one simple lesson that has been taught century upon century is a lie.

Women may not necessarily be as physically strong as men however, mentally they are mans equal if not more so.

Generally, women are capable of reaching agreements that men are not capable of reaching. They bear children if they choose. They have much greater empathy than men in general.

So we must begin teaching our children now, today, this moment that women are not objects. They are not possessions or toys for mens pleasure merely to be discarded after. No, women are people just as men are and should be treated equally and with respect and it is up to us to teach our children this. It is up to men to stand up for women when being assaulted or insulted or having their rights taken away. It is up to men to show respect for women and to teach that respect to not only children, but to other men.

It is up to men to act as men of stature and respect.

Why is it up to men some might ask? That answer is as simple as it is heart wrenchingly sad.

Men are the ones who destroy women’s lives, take away their rights and assault them.

I have willingly stated and state here now I will no longer stand by idly while women are being assaulted or having their rights removed. I will fight for them and with them. I will lay my life down for them and with them. Not because I am a man and they are women. I will do this because women are human as I am and I will no longer stand for what I see around me.

So now it is up to you. Will you be one of my kind or of the other? I assure you that if you choose the other, you will eventually meet more of my kind than yours so be wise in your choice.